Weenie-Licked | Meat Ouchers

Soul Limiter: "Push the button. Nothing bad can happen with an immediate influx of drama.. right?"

Dawn Of a New Day: "Afterwards, use the spork to unscrew the metal plate and see what's inside the drama meter."

Jeffory: "dive back into the chest and close the lid once you press the button, it will probably protect you from the ensuing DRAMA STORM"

You can't show a playerbase a large button and not expect them to press it.

The power/drama levels of the castle are pretty low, might as well try and raise them, even though you don't know what will even happen.

Each universe runs on its own unique source of energy.

You all hide out in the chest for safety, and watch closely.

Within Hubris's happens to be drama, which it has plenty of.

You peek out of the lid, nothing is happening yet. All you can hear is Douglas's panting. Wait, no... that's Jeffory's.

Back on Oldbris, there was an infamous troll known as 'YoyoKirby'.

A 'ZAP' sounds, as something materializes in the middle of the room. You think it might be a beast or something at first, or maybe the emergency mechanism was more dangerous than you thought. Quickly, you all duck back in the chest.

They terrorized the forum for months with their epic burns and sick roasts.

The thing is walking around the room from what you can hear.

Jeffory whispers in your ear, "psssst. Paul. I got your back. If things get rough. I'll be there for you dude."

You just gulp. You're definitely doomed.

Their avatar was Chen from Touhou for a while.

"There you are."

I couldn't remember which Touhou character it was at the time, so I just based YK-Bot after Flandre Scarlet.

"Identifying. Subject Unknown. Subject Jeffory. Subject Unknown. Subject Unknown."

"YK-BOT Identification: 2000. Beginning Drama Reserve Refilling Sequence."

"Uh, YK-Bot...?" you ask.

"Begin Subject Info Dump? y/n"

"Why en?"

"Beginning Subject Info Dump. Thank you for purchasing your brand new YK-BOT!"

"YK-BOT is guaranteed to provide Drama Refilling Services whenever you desire."

"Your YK-BOT is powered by Liquid Drama Vials held in the back compartment."

"Due to the nature of YK-BOT, it is a self powered generating machine!"

"Enter your Name, Interests, and Dislikes into the connected server for maximum output."

"Warning: Do Not Yiff The Generator."

"....."

"Begin Drama Reserve Refilling Sequence?"

"...pssst. Jeffory, what the fuck is up with this thing?"

Whatever your opinion on YoyoKirby may be, there's no denying they kept the forum active and alive.

"I had no idea the castle was outfitted with these things! Just like it said, it's a drama generator. It's based after an infamous troll named YoyoKirby! Only the richest peoples of Hubris get to have their own generator... I'm a bit jealous myself."

"Begin Drama Reserve Refilling Sequence?"

"Uh, y-yeah!"

"Error: Unknown Subject. Enter Name."

"Paul Rudd."

"Enter Interest."

"Weenies."

"Enter Dislikes."

"Vegetarians."

"Sufficient Subject Data. Beginning Drama Reserve Refilling Sequence."

This whole rant is a bit cringy, reading back on it.

"Paul. Did you hear about the latest Meyer Sausage Convention?"

"No... I don't-"

"God it was shit. You should'a seen what the weenie fans were doing to the 40m Loin Man Statue."

"Not surprisingly, they tried to fuck it. Then one of them took a shit in the Loin Lounge, causing the poor staff to work well into midnight."

"lmao just like some weenie-enthusiasts to screw over everyone else. What a disappointment they must be to their fathers."

"Then one of them nearly fell off the Baloney Balcony. I don't know how you missed it, it was all over the news."

"It took them over 3 hours to finally get his fatass down. I'd kick his gullet off the roof if I were there. "

("Pff, look at this guy. What, does he think I'm some kind of amateur? I'm not gonna fall for this sh-")

"DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT MEAT OR OUR RACE. MEATLOVERS ARE A PROUD COMMUNITY OF PROFOUND MINDS. WITHOUT US, THE WORLD WOULD BE TRASH. WITHOUT OUR WILLPOWER, THE CITIES WOULD FALL, LIKE A PILE OF LEAVES. DO YOU THINK VEGETARIANS COULD HAVE CREATED SUCH MODERN MIRACLES AS THE MEATCOPTOR OR THE STEAK-IN-STATE-AT-STAKE? HAH. I THINK NOT."

You continue to go on a spontaneous rage for well over 20 minutes.

"I think that will be sufficient. Thank you for your continued services."

"ERROR: Return point not found. Activate Idle Mode."

The YK-BOT vanishes.

...as does your rage.

"...wait, where was I?"

You look around, and Jeffory and the others look pale. You ask them what's wrong, and they just shake their heads.

I wasn't expecting players to unscrew the device, but it works.

"Oh, look. The Drama shot up to 76%! Man, that robot knows how it's done."

The others still look very concerned.

The Liquid Drama never gets used. It would've been cool to pour it on shit.

You decide to screw off the panel by using your SPORK. Below you find some nerdy mechanical stuff, and a small vial nearly full of black liquid. You ask Jeffory what it is.

"O-oh, that's Liquid Drama. Y-you can pour it on stuff and s-stuff might happen. Eheh."

"Uh what's your deal?"

"Me? N-nothing. Uh, loli's like that bot creep me out is all. Y-yeah. (I DIDN'T KNOW I TEAMED UP WITH A FUCKING BESERKER)"

You add the VIAL OF LIQUID DRAMA to your INFINITORY.