A Day Wtih The Frycook Text Dump
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Wacdonaldo
He works at Wacdonaldo, a fast-food restaurant...
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Since he was a child, he wanted to be an astronaut, the best astronaut in the fucking universe.
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It was all he wanted, until...
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Real life happened.
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Yet two questions remain: What is his name, and what should he do?
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Buck decides to examine his surroundings. He sees a door and the place where he puts his tools. There is a frypan, his spatula, and a katana.
Leave
Buck is tired of this work and wants to start over with his savings (that aren't much tbh). He decides to open the door, but of course, it is closed from behind.
There is a posit that reads literally "I'm so sorry, but this door is out of order"
scouto: look out the window
Circle_Hunter: Take a poop out the windowsill.
He goes to check out the views. There is a wall that list all the orders and a microphone to make them. There is also a house in the horizon that reminds Buck to...
Well, he can't remember right now.
Scouto: climb out of window.
Buck tries to climb out of the window, but when he is going to put his arm outside, a MK12 intel inside forcefield activates, blasting him throught the closed door.
Hey, at least the door is not out of service anymore!
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There is a door at end, but a big ass hole in the middle. What does he do?
Tyler: Call an old ID
Hey Tyler, friendo of mine, are you there? I need some help.
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A big hole you say? mmmm, sometimes, problems doesn't resolve by avoiding them, but going against them.
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Here, let me send you a fax of my idea.
Next
Buck proceeds to replicate what his friend told him and starts running towards the hole!
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Perfect jump!
Some hours later...
Buck has been falling for several hours now, he doesn't know where is he or what time is.
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He sees a light off in the distance, what is it? Oh my god, the hole was deeper than he thought, it actually goes through the flat Earth!
Buck keeps falling even in space, because that's how flat Earth works, but 28127402276891889050439929560-
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GQYSAMRQEA3GGIBWGEQDOOJAGY2SANZSEAZDAIBWMYQDMNRAGIY CANRUEA3DSIBWMQQDMNJAGZSSAN ZTEA3DSIBWMYQDMZJAGIYCANRZEA3TGIBSGAQDM OJAGZSCANTEEA3DSIBWMUQDMNJAGZSSANZUEAZDCIA
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What the?
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Buck turns around, and... Earth is spherical! All those Circular-Earth conspiracists were right!
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Buck turns around, and... Earth is spherical! All those Circular-Earth conspiracionists were right!
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Oh oh... Have you ever wondered how spherical-Earth gravity works?
A Day With The Frycook
Now with more anti-aliasing.
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Buck rises off the ground and sees something in the distance...
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A city! Cities are full of oportunities, lots of noises, and things to do...
Things to do... What will do Buck now?
Bianca: Ask the green guy about the city.
Buck approaches the smokin man. The man sees Buck slowly, and then turns back to his original pose.
Buck: "Hum, Hi, what can you tell me about the city?"
Man: "Meh, not much. New to the city?, welcome to Fibanccia. We have buildings, streets, parks, etc..."
Man: "Why are you wearing those clothes?. You know it's illegal to do apology to any kind of written or visual story right?"
Buck: "Written or visual story? I... don't know what you mean, I am Buck, I work at Wacdonaldo, did you know we have more than 800 restaurants world-wide?!? Never been there???"
The man laughs hard, and then says
Man: "Dude, you really got hit your head hard, 'Wadonald' or whatever the name is, didn't ever exist"
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Man: "You better be carreful, the king said it clear the day he conquered our country"
"King: Those who have the courage to create universes, shall be exterminated with lethal force"
Man: "Be carefull man. They have spies everywhere"
Oceanstuck: Mug that dude for his weed.
WHAT'S THAT! -Buck screams and points something in front of him, there in the distance.
What, what? -The man turns his back to Buck
No clue what are you talking ab* -As the man turns back to Buck, Buck punches his face so hard that let him K.O.
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Hey, look, I got 1x of weed! Look at the inventory.
Tyler: "NEXT TO THE SMOKING GUY I SEE THERE IS THIS BRICK SPOT OF GREAT SECRETS. I KNOW IN MY SOUL IF YOU CAN BREAK IN THERE, YOU WILL FIND THE REALM OF THE SMALL PEOPLE. TRULY THEY HAVE BRICKED IT OFF IN ORDER TO HIDE THEMSELVES. BREAK INTO THEIR WORLD AND LEARN THEIR SECRETS."
THIS PRECISE BRICK SPOT, IS AN ANCIENT BRICK SPOT, BUILT BY THE MAYAS
WE NEED TO BREAK INSIDE, THE ASTRAL TRUTH IS WAITING INS-
Hey, where is Buck? Buck? hey?
ARGdov: "Check out Obey’s Place"
Buck looks through the glass, he is watching something, he can't move his eyes from it
What it could be...?
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Of course! The Special Personal Advanced Tool Ultra Long-term Average-borger-fliper 3010! (tm)
This bad boy can flip 1 trillion borgers at the same time (arms not included)
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Buck can hear a "Buy me buy me buy me!" coming from the speakers inside the shop.
He really wants the S.P.A.T.U.L.A, what should he do?
Greth: "Join the communist revolution and steal it, komrad."
Buck notices a certain kiosk he didn't saw earlier, it's all painted in red, having a symbol of a penaut and a sickle.
Seems like one of those Penautist recruit centers, Buck can see someone inside... (You feel a wave sensation of want to sharing everything with everyone)
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Buck stands infront of the kiosk, just to be greeted by a penautist holding a AP-74 on his back.
He seems like a pretty cool guy, the only thing is, he doesn't have a name, what name it should be?
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Perl is waiting for you to make the first move, his shop is full of comics, and some soviet weaponry there in the back
Buck wonders what to ask...
The mission tab has been unlocked! you can now check what missions are on so you don't loose the north!
Wolfcat: "Ask him about the super cool and high quality comics he has."
ARGdov: "Ask if Perl knows of something called the S.P.A.T.U.L.A Also check out his comic books."
Perl Peanx: "Comics! I got all of them! I have comics about meat, about aventures, about jokes... but this is my favorite one, it's called A Day With The Frycook, written by an unknown commarade..."
Perl Peanx: "The comic is about one man that must face the monotonous life that is working at Wacdonaldo. One man must overcome the everyday challenges of flipping burgers and deep frying processed food."
Perl Peanx: "Hey my friend, you look so palid, are you okay?
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"Am I... ?" Buck thinks.
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"Shit!" Larry says.
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"Oh oh, we are in trobule!" Perl says, while Buck is literally having an existential crisis.
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Perl inserts a green key into a key-lock and rotates it, then he pesses a big red button. A loud noise comes from the kiosk.
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"Perl's Bird Shop"
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"Sup officers! Wanna do some capitalist trade??" Perl exclaims.
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The window of the police car opens little by little...
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It's officer Larry! Chief of the local police department, through ages of dedication, he has become one of the best detectives of the city, not to mention he resolved about 700-
Larry: Man the pizza is getting cold!
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Perry: "Not much Perl, been going up and down town looking for a suspect, I don't know if you have seen it, we only have his work as info. he is a frycook and works at um, Wac, Wackerando? Perry what was the name?
Larry: "Wacdonaldo"
Perry: "Yeah that, have you seen him Perl?"
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"No Perry, I'm so sorry. i've been feeding my birds with food all day, this economic capitalist food does it!" -Perl says.
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"... Yeeeeah well We are gonna patrol the center of the city and see if we catch him, be on the lookout." -Perry says.
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"HOLD ON A SECOND" -Perry screams.
Perry scared the shit out of Buck, his gaze pale, he is a frycook, and works at wacdonaldo.
"shitshitshithsithsitshitshitshithsithsitshitshitshithsithsitshitshitshithsithsit" Buck thinks.
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"Mmmmmm do I know you, Sir" -Perry says...
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The officers leave. Will we see them again...?
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Perl: "What a duo, huh? They are brothers, you know. The bigger brother, Perry, is always watching the "little" brother Larry, but Larry... let's just say Larry is Larry."
Buck: "How much time have you been in the city?"
Perl: "Months, years? It's hard to tell with the King forbidding all people's creations... I mean, I can read my comics but reading the same ones again and again..."
Buck: "Who is the King?"
Perl: "No one knows. No one has ever seen him or her, not even the highest of the influence spheres. The only thing anyone knows is that no comics or anything that involves creating an story is tolerated under his/her rule."
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Perl: "But tell me buddy, what are you doing in a place like this?"
Buck: "It's hard to explain... I just ended up here somehow."
Perl: "Oh, so you follow the rails looking for adventures brother? that's fantastic!"
Buck: "Yeah well, there is also this S.P.A.T.U.L.A that I wan-"
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Perl: "Say no more, brother! You are a nice fellow. I can help you with that, friend."
Buck and Perl are great friends now. What will the future throw at them?
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Perl: "So, what do you do when you want something from a shop?"
Buck: "Um, I go inside, talk to the employee, buy it..."
Perl: "Well, yes, but actually no. Uou need to talk to her."
Buck: "Yeah that's what I said, talk to-"
Perl: "No no, HER."
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Perl: "Her."
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Buck: "I don't think-"
Perl: "Shh brother, you must talk to her, know how it is feeling, tell her everything..."
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Perl: "Then you listen to her, listen what she tells you, listen her problems..."
Buck: "...And then?"
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And then you know when is the right moment. -Perl says
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Perl points at the shop glass with his AP-74 and starts shooting bullet after bullet while the peanutist feeling invades his body!
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"Looks like they are still open." -Perl says
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Jim: "OK JIM, WE SPOKE ABOUT THIS WITH THE THERAPIST, THE TALKING COMMUNIST PEANUT DOES'NT EXIST, IT'S MY IMAGINATION!"
Jim: "HE NEVER ENTERED MY SHOP OR ASSAULTED ME IN THE NAME OF COMMUNISM, PEANUTS CANNOT ASSAULT SHOPS."
Jim: "PROBABLY A TORNADO BROKE THE GLASS, AGAIN , BUT NOT A COMMUNIST PEANUT GODDAMIT."
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The Spatula... Buck will finally be able to call himself a Frycook again. This is not a tool, but a mate that helped him day to day overcoming all the obtacles Wacdonaldo gave to Buck.
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Buck can see himself in the reflection of the Spatula. "Damn, I'm fucking ugly" -He thinks, but his thinking is disrupted by the thoughts of having the tool, making borgers again, being happy. He extends his arm, and...
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...
Buck has the Spatula. He is happy, he can now do what non-depressed people do - do things... What will do Buck now?
ARGdov: "Ask where the nearest Wacnaldo is so you can go back to your crappy job...then freak out and begin to question your life choices...do you even want to BE a fry cook?!"
Of course, some sentient peanut is assaulting a shop and the first thing you think of is to ask things around...
As expected, everyone in the shop is either running or scared. Buck approaches the only guy who is calm and quiet.
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Buck: "Hey! Do you know where is the nearest Wacdonaldo is so I can go back to my crappy job?"
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Quiet and calm guy: "..."
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Buck: "Take your time."
"Now that you have the spatula, you need borgers to flip. It is your destiny."
You need the borgers to flip, it's your destiny, it's your destiny to reach where the borgers are, it's your destiny to grab one.
It's your destiny to raise your spatula a a sign of victory, it's your destiny to share meatouchers.com with everyone.
It's your destiny.
"The man is obviously tired. Feed him a borger to raise his energy."
Not only did you make Buck speak to dead people, but you are now asking Him to feed dead people...
Here are a list of why you shouldn't give food to dead people: ^^^
"also question what the heck a meatouchers.com is."
Oh shit, you created a loophole-