Weenie-Licked | Meat Ouchers

Oceanstuck: "open the chest"

ridesthenarwhal: "sit in the chest"

ridesthenarwhal: "ponder your sad weenie-less existence"

Jeffory: "consult your handy dandy schedule to tell you what you're supposed to be doing"

CircleHunter: "Open a nice, refreshing COCA-COLA to satisfy your thirst."

You thought just because we're not in Hubris anymore, you were free from ponies? Pathetic fool.

You open the chest. Inside are MANY PONIES. Gross. You never really cared for ponies.

These are all 'gifts' from your MOTHER. What, does she think you're five? You hid them all away from sight in this chest so you don't have to look at their colorful, judging eyes.

You still have to look at hers though.

I was a bit worried people wouldn't like Amy, or that people would just rather get back to Paul.

You sit in the chest to contemplate your LACK OF WEENIES, which you are COMPLETELY GRATEFUL FOR.

And that's probably true. I noticed a lot of the older readers weren't really as interested anymore.

Those disgusting MEAT LOVERS and their PRIMITIVE WAYS are vile. You'll never forgive them for THE WAR.

Your fellow VEGETARIANS tried to fight back with ROOTWHIPS and GOURDBOMBS, but the MEAT LOVERS retaliated with the horrible MEAT BEATING BEET MEETINGS. You still have nightmares.

Though, I think that's mostly because I started focusing more on exposition and writing instead of shenanigans.

You check your HANDY DANDY SCHEDULE.

You got this thing memorized, you've been following it for 10 DAMN YEARS. It's mostly stayed the same.

Right now it is 7:30 PM.

You've gotta head out and PRAISE THE OL' FUNGI here pretty soon.

I never really balanced it too well, and I can see how people would lose interest over that.

In the meantime, you decide to have a delicious COCA-COLA. But... you haven't had a delicious COCA-COLA in 10 years. You just have water here... until recently, that is.

About a month ago, this place just took in a TON OF REFUGEES. Getting refugees is nothing new, as this whole place was designed a BUNKER for THE WAR. You haven't had any new refugees though for like 10 years, as you were all told you were the LAST PEOPLE IN THE UNIVERSE ALIVE.

Except for these NEW REFUGEES from a month ago. They're all weird. With them they brought tons of DRAMA, SHIT, and SUNNY D.

But yes. It is nice to finally drink something other than water for a change.