The lack of Beerd in this room disturbs you. Speaking of which, it'd probably be good to have some guidance in this strange place. You pray to Beerd, asking for some help.
Dawn Of a New Day: "Wonder why there is no Beerd picture there, then pray to Beerd in the hopes that he'd shed some light on the situation. Or at least give you a marker so you can draw a dick on Span's face."
Crash10012: "also take the stone statue off of the wall"
ridesthenarwhal: "hang the brottknocker in the glass case just to admire how regal it looks"
Dawn Of a New Day: "Then ponder the existential crisis of life and the existence of multiple gods, some of whom you may not know, and wonder how you can become god. But not just any god. The god of large, phallus-shaped meat products."
You see a small light come down from the sky.
"Hey", says the masked fairy.
"Who are you?", you ask.
"I'm working for Beerd at the moment. I'm your guide. Uh, but I'm not 'Guide', though. That's someone else.", he says.
This just confuses you. But at least you got some help.
"So what is this place?"
"This is the CASTLE OF SPANOSA. It's been abandoned though. Just like the rest of the land. It's DEAD."
"Why are you yelling some words can you stop"
"Sorry. It's done to convey IMPORTANT THINGS to the PLAYERS."
You give him a blank look to indicate you have no clue wtf he's talking about.
"I digress, it's not gonna to get THAT meta. Anyway..."
"The castle rests on the Island of Spanosa, facing towards the rest of the kingdom. This kingdom is called the Within Hubris Empire, and it was once very prosperous. Something happened though, and now it's full of mutated monsters and crap. Welcome to Hubris, Paul."
"Okay, well... how do I go back?"
"Hm?"
"Back to my universe. This has been cool and all, but I'd really like to go back and see my family. It's been like 10 years."
"Ah... I'm afraid that, might not happen... "
You look a bit crestfallen.
"I mean, I'm sure you'll go back to your place soon! But your life won't be easy from here on out. You'll just have to see what I mean later. But yeah, first thing's first."
"Somewhere in this castle is an ancient artifact that was once held by the High Priest. Moogen's been trying to obtain it for a while now, but it's behind a door he cannot open. You can open it though. Once you get that, you will be able to go back to your universe."
"Make sure you keep your salami slamini at the ready, you're not alone in this castle."
"And take this. It's an ACTUAL MAGIC MARKER. It might be handy."
"I'll see you soon, Paul. Good luck."
The cat fairy thing vanishes.
Eager to try out your new marker, you draw a LEWD picture on Spanosa's painting.
"Ehhhehehhhheheheh"
The LEWD picture then comes to life and floats out the window. Welp, it's like the saying goes. You guess there's some kind of saying for that.
You want to take down the giant statue on the wall, but your arms are too puny and weak. It makes you kind of sad.
To cheer yourself up, you place the BROTTKNOCKER in the glass case. You stand in awe, and stare at it for a good 10 minutes. God, just look how regal and inspiring it is. Just having it around makes you feel important. Everyday Cheezus blesses you is like Christmas.
Speaking of... there sure are a lot of Gods around these parts. The lore is a bit confusing. And there are probably even more Gods you haven't even heard of yet! Ugh, sometimes it's a bit too much. How does one become a God, though? Is there some kind of registration? If only you could have that kind of power...
The power of a God.. the God of Large, Phallus-Shaped Meat Products... hmm, no, maybe you should work on that name. LORD RUDD. The one who BLESSES GOOD CHILDREN with WEENIES and BRISKET. You would ask followers to SACRIFICE ONIONS and rain down HOLY TEARS to PURIFY NON-BELIEVERS. Sinners would be BOILED in SCOLDING HOT BBQ SAUCE of JUSTICE.
You're starting to think you might need help.