What's this? Some decadent pixie snuck into your room. How disrespectful. They are attempting to allure you with their ASS. Your high BUM RESISTANCE nullifies their attempts. "Who are you?" you ask.

It is none other than CRASH, the local fuckboy, and they are demanding that you BEAT THEIR MEAT. Well, it has been a rather long time since you've had a good MEAT BEATAGE, you suppose one round couldn't hurt. "Just one second," you say.

"Excuse me while I whip this out," you say, chuckling to yourself. Crash doesn't laugh, but their bum movements become a bit less perky. You aren't good with ladies. You never were.

BEHOLD. It is the mighty SALAMI SLAMINI, your weapon of choice. This baby is equipped with a 50,000 VOLT ACTION BATTERY and EXTENDO-ENDO-END for long range MEATAGE BEATAGE.

You firmly grasp it, and...

...FWAP. Another successful MEAT BEATING. Feeling that supple FWAP reminded you of the good old MEAT BEATING MEETINGS, where MEAT LOVERS would BEAT their MEAT all day. That is, until the VEGETARIANS attacked with their terrible ROOTS and GOURDS. The MEAT BEATING BEET MEETINGS that came afterwards were worth it, though.

"Was that a sufficient BEAT, or should we HEAT it up? Ahahahaaha," you say.