M.E.A.T. Text Dump
Use Ctrl+F/Command+F To Search!
M.E.A.T.
A long, long time ago in a sea of endless worlds...
00001
The tumultuous currents began to stir.
00003
The World of Agriculture was peaceful. Lush fields gave birth to lavish crops, and cattle lazily grazed across the land.
00004
However, this prosperity would not last.
00005
The Realm was on the brink of war. The eternal struggle between two ancient factions was reaching its climax, and blood would soon spill over the once lush soil.
00006
What are these two bloodthirsty factions?
They are the light and dark of the ancient yin and yang, the heads and tails of the same coin.
They are the Alpha and the Omega, the Good and Evil, the very CONCEPT of DUALITY ITSELF.
00007
VEGANS AND CARNIVORES.
00008
Our story begins in Breden.
00009
Breden, a massive country, home of the prideful Meat Lovers and Carnivores.
These warriors held their strength high, and their beliefs higher.
00011
Your name is CALEB EDITH, and you're sick of this shit.
'Hey Caleb, come to the bar with us!' they said.
'It'll be fine, it won't be like last time!' they claimed.
Yeah, right.
00013
Hubert: "Me? I was the one who saved your sorry asses in there. If anything, ya'll owe me!"
00014
Hubert: "Butch here's the one who started that brawl! All I did was step in and end it before you ended up with even more bruises!"
00015
Caleb: "Man, you know how bad he is with alcohol! You were supposed to be watching him."
Butcher: "H-heyy guys, I'm feelin pretty sshitty...."
Caleb: "We could've had another Brottsville incident on our hands. Minus the cats."
Butcher: "No, guys, I uh.... urgh...."
00016
Hubert: "That's why I stopped it before it got that bad- look, I ain't got the guy on a leash! You know you can't control Butch when he gets riled up."
00017
Butcher: "BLAUGH"
00018
Hubert: "Aww come'on, he puked all over the side of the truck!"
Caleb: "Whatever, it's his truck. He'll have to deal with it himself."
00019
Who are you kidding. You can't bring yourself to hate these guys. You've known 'em for years.
00020
Caleb: "Heeey you still with us buddy?"
Butcher: "Mrrngh..."
Caleb: "You're lucky you got out of that mess in one piece. Someday you're gonna piss off the wrong person and that'll be all she wrote."
Butcher: "Look... nnnghh, I'm not just gonna stand idly by while some prick is talkin' shit about our country like that."
Butcher: "I've put too much blood, sweat, and tears towards Breden. It's worse than insultin' someone's own mother..."
00021
Caleb: "Yeah, well, now I guess I've put some blood and tears into Breden as well."
Butcher: "...Sorry."
00022
Butcher: "It's just... kinda the whole reason I joined, ya'know?"
Caleb: "..."
Butcher: "...Maybe something will work itself out..."
Hubert: "Speaking of that... I'm gonna have to swing us by Hogsford real quick."
Hubert: "Blake gave me a call, said the Sergeant was wanting to meet with me in about half an hour from now."
Caleb: "Damn, this late? You must really be in for it."
Hubert: "Nah, I don't think so... "
Hubert: "But, uh... then again, I don't know why else he'd be asking for me, so..."
Butcher: "Outta training and that guy is still on our asses, huh."
00026
Butcher: "Whoa whoa what's that green shit you just ran over?"
Hubert: "I don't know, it was slick as hell though... some kinda oil?"
Caleb: "...Green oil?"
Hubert: "Vegetable oil?"
Butcher: "Goddamn Vegans gotta have their dirty hands in everything."
Butcher: "Just thinkin' about 'em makes me wanna... h-hhhurgg...."
00027
Hubert: "Aww man, you gonna hurl again?"
Butcher: "Nngghhh p-pull over, I don't wanna give the side of the truck a second coat..."
Hubert: "*Sigh*... fine. "
[S] Caleb: Unwind
Night has settled in. The moon shines brightly in the sky, as a cool summer breeze blows gently by.
You can't help but relax, as the natural sounds of the woods surround you.
That is, except for the sound of Butcher vomiting off in the distance.
>How's life...?
Caleb: "So, uh... how's life?"
Hubert: "You mean like... just in general?"
Caleb: "Yeah... yeah."
Hubert: "Ehh, it's goin' fine. Better now that trainin's over."
Caleb: "You could say that again. Hogsford was a bitch."
Hubert: "Mmhm. Sure was."
Caleb: "Think life in the Army will be any better?"
Hubert: "Can't be as bad as Serge's bitchin', right?"
Caleb: "That's true..."
>The family
Hubert: "How's the boy doin'?"
Caleb: "He's doing good."
Hubert: "So school's been good for him?"
Caleb: "Ehh, yeah. His grades are absolutely fine, he's got no problems there, it's just..."
Hubert: "Still shy, huh?"
Caleb: "Yeah... I just hope it doesn't... outcast him, you know? He needs to connect to other kids and whatnot."
Hubert: "Ehh, he'll be fine. Plenty of kids start out like that."
Caleb: "Yeah... Lilly's just been worried about him is all."
Hubert: "Hahah, hell, she worries about everything."
Caleb: "You have no idea."
About AGRA
Caleb: "AGRA's been pretty hectic these days, hasn't it?"
Hubert: "You got that right. Doesn't really feel that safe anymore..."
Caleb: "Have you ever thought about moving to some other Realm?"
Hubert: "Well, yeah. I've thought about it plenty of times but... I mean, I'm not sure where I'd even more to. AGRA's all I've ever known."
Caleb: "Mm, same here. You know, I got Lilly and Jason living off in some Residential Realm... hell, I can't even remember the name of it."
Caleb: "I'm telling you, that place is soulless... well, not literally, but you catch my drift."
Hubert: "I hear ya' man. That mass produced shit, it'll just drain ya'."
Caleb: "Mhm, does me. I can barely stand to look at the place. Just doesn't match the green fields of AGRA."
Hubert: "Hell, nothin' does."
>AGRA war?
Caleb: "You really think there's gonna be a war?"
Hubert: "Here in AGRA? Who the hell knows. Breden hasn't been budging a bit. Seden ain't giving up either."
Hubert: "And all those recent 'terrorist attacks' here in Breden... Sounds like it's gonna happen either way."
Caleb: "People have been itching for a fight for a long time now. Hell, you can't even mention Seden without sending someone into a frenzy."
Hubert: "Heh, like ol' Butch."
Caleb: "That damn... Butcher's the exact thing that's wrong with Breden these days. He just gets so invested in his damn politics that he won't even listen to you."
Hubert: "Man, you're preachin' to the choir here. I'm afraid to even mention VEGETABLES around the guy."
>Butcher...
Hubert: "I tell ya', I'm gettin' a little worried about Butch."
Caleb: "Naw, he does this every time he drinks."
Hubert: "No, not that, I mean, just... him in general. He's takin' this stuff about Breden more an' more personally every day."
Caleb: "Yeah, I've noticed."
Hubert: "He's always been a pretty patriotic fella', but now it's just... hurting him, you know?"
Caleb: "And, well, hurting me, too."
Hubert: "Uhh, yeah... look, I'm sorry about Butch, I shoulda' been watchin' him like you asked."
Caleb: "Naw, don't worry about it... I know he's a handful. You shouldn't have to be his babysitter. Next time, I'm not takin' any punches for him, though."
Proceed
Butcher: "N-nnrgh..."
Hubert: "Uh... you good now?"
Butcher: "Yeah, let's just get back on the fuckin' road."
Caleb: "Right... We shouldn't keep the Sarge waiting."
00030
Time to get this night over with. You can't wait to hit the hay.
00031
Caleb: "N-nngah, shit!"
00032
Butcher: "Nice goin' there, you klutz. I'm supposed to be the drunk one, remember?"
Hubert: "You alright back there, man?"
Caleb: "Nrgh, yeah... It just felt like something..."
Wh... What?
Caleb: "Wh... What the hell...!?"
No.
Caleb: "What the hell! What the hell! Auuuugh gross! Get it off!"
Hubert: "Hold still, man! I'm tryin' to help you up!"
Caleb: "Oh GOD IT'S SMILINGATMEWHATTHEHELLEVENISTHISTHINGTHISISTHEGROSSEST THINGTHATSEVERHAPPENEDTOMEWHAT-"
Hubert: "Nnnngh!"
00037
Hubert: "Ooh no..."
00038
Hubert: "No no no..."
00039
Hubert: "NO NO NO!"
00041
Hubert: "Huh...?"
00043
Butcher: "Green ass slimeball... Get the hell off of my truck!"
Butcher: "...Uh, and my friends, too."
00044
Butcher: "Heheh..."
Butcher: "It's been a while since I've used ol' Rosey on a livin' target..."
Butcher: "Forgot how satisfyin' it feels..."
Hubert: "Butch, you're scarin' me again."
Next
Butcher: "Come on, now. That ain't no way to speak to someone who just saved your butt!"
Butcher: "Eheheheheh... Guess you owe ME now!"
Hubert: "Man, that's now how it works!"
Hubert: "If anything, we even!"
Butcher: "I gotta say, I'm disappointed in you, Hubert."
Butcher: "I thought you, of all people, knew that a true man never leaves his house without his trusty Ween in hand!"
Hubert: "I GOT my Ween!"
Hubert: "If you haven't noticed, my hands are just a little full at the moment!"
Caleb: "-SLIMEYGROSSASSFUZZYPULSATINGMOLDYLOOKING-"
Butcher: "...He's, uh..."
Butcher: "He's really goin' at it, ain't he?"
Hubert: "He never had a stomach for gross stuff..."
Butcher: "Well, he's gonna have to suck it up!"
Butcher: "Fellas, this is our first (unofficial) mission against those damn, dirty, no good Seden'ers!"
Hubert: "There you go again with that!"
Hubert: "How you even know these snotballs are from Seden?"
Butcher: "Uh, 'cause they're green, they're evil, and they suck ass. That's why!"
Butcher: "Plus, you ever seen a figment in Breden that looks like these bastards?"
Butcher: "Didn't think so!"
Hubert: "Look, man, I'm just sick'n tired of you jumpin' to conclusions all the time!"
Hubert: "It ain't helpin' nobody! Me and Caleb were talkin' and-"
Butcher: "What, you two turnin' into a couple damn pussies on me or somethin'?"
Butcher: "Some no-good Seden apologists!?"
Butcher: "Listen, all I'm saying here is-"
Caleb: "GUYS? G-GUYS? UHHH..."
00047
Caleb: "That... That piece..."
Caleb: "It's STILL MOVING!"
Hubert: "What in the..."
Butcher: "U-urk..."
Hubert: "...Alright. Butch, time to get serious, okay?"
Proceed
Hubert: "Hey, Butch! Look alive!"
Butcher: "N-nnrgh... Yeah yeah, I'm here..."
Butcher: "Uurk, it's like a giant, livin' hairball..."
00051
Butcher: "Let's get this over with. I can't stand lookin' at this thing any longer."
Hubert: "Right!"
00053
Well. You definitely weren't expecting your night to go like this.
You're just glad you left your Ween at home so you don't have to go near that disgusting thing.
You think you'll just let your good buddies do the dirty work this time.
Collateral Damage
Hubert: "I don’t think we’re gettin’ anywhere, Butch."
Hubert: "These creeps keep on growin’ back!"
Butcher: "Less talking, more slicing! They can’t keep it up forever, just dont-"
00055
Hubert: "Aw, hell!
00057
Hubert: "...Butch? You okay?"
Butcher: "..."
Hubert: "...Alright, now you’re scarin’ me for real, man."
Weenie Wielding Beserker
Butcher: "For the last time..."
00059
Butcher: "Get."
00060
Butcher: "Off."
00061
Butcher: "Of..."
00062
Butcher: "MY."
00063
Butcher: "TRUUUUCK!"
Proceed
You've never been more terrified in your whole life.
00065
Some time later...
00066
Butcher: "Huff..."
00067
Butcher: "Huff..."
00068
Butcher: "Baby girl..."
00069
Butcher: "Rosy, I’m sorry, ol’ gal!"
Butcher: "I’m sorry for treatin’ you so bad!"
Butcher: "I promise I’ll never spew on you again, honey…"
Butcher: "Those mean ol' monsters won't hurt you anymore, I swear!"
Moving On
Butcher: "I’ll make it up to you, I swear - I’ll push you all the way to the garage if I have to!"
Butcher: "I’ll clean you up nice and good a-and get you some brand new tires!"
Butcher: "I’ll never let anyone else touch you ever again!"
Hubert: "You know, I’m startin’ to think that he cares more about that damn truck than he does his two best friends."Caleb: "I don’t know, I’m kinda glad he’s sparing us all the hugs and kisses."
00072
Caleb: "Butch, we should get movin’!"
Caleb: "The sarge was expecting Hubert over half an hour ago!"
Butcher: "But… But Rosy…"
Hubert: "We’ll have it- uhm, I mean ‘her’ towed as soon as possible, alright?"
Hubert: "The faster we get to Hogsford, the better."
Caleb: "Yeah, we really need to warn them about those damn moss things, too."
Caleb: "I’ve never even seen anything like them before…"
Butcher: "Alright, I get it…"
00073
Butcher: "I'll be back soon, baby..."
00074
Caleb: "What a night…"
00079
Hubert: "Oh, yeah... How's the bruise healin' up?"
Caleb: "Which one - the one from the drunk bastard or the freak of nature?"
Caleb: "...Because believe it or not, a pissed off, tipsy Breden'er packs a bigger punch than a magical vegetable-moss… ‘thing’.”
Hubert: "Huh. Yeah, I guess Butcher’s truck got it the worst outta’ all of us."
Hubert: "Uh, by the way, sorry ‘bout that, Butch."
Butcher: "Nnrgh..."
Caleb: "I just wish I could'a found my damn shoe...”
Hubert: "You never found it?"
Caleb: "Naw, it got lost in the chaos.”
Caleb: *Sigh* "Guess I can just check back tomorrow as long as some random animal don’t run off with it.”
Caleb: "Hell, after all that nasty gunk was on it I don’t think I even want it anymore…”
00080
Caleb: "Agh!"
Caleb: "Damn gravel roads... Ngh.”
Hubert: "Need us to wait up a bit?"
Caleb: "No, no I’m good. I just wanna get this over with.”
Hubert: "Hey, look on the bright side."
Hubert: "We all kicked some serious butt in our first fight as official Breden soldiers, right?"
Hubert: "Well, uh, me and Butch did, at least."
Hubert: "...Then again, Butch did most of the work, now that I think about it..."
Caleb: "At least we have a winning strategy if Breden DOES goes to war - just have the enemy knock up Butch’s truck and he’ll take ‘em out no problem.”
Butcher: "Can we please stop talkin’ about Rosy?"
Butcher: "My baby's taken enough abuse for one night..."
00081
Caleb: "Alright, alright..."
Caleb: "I think we all have, honestly.”
Caleb: "At least none of us got badly hurt though, right?”
Hubert: "Uhh... G-guys?"